This blog has been quiet lately, but it’s high time to share a few things that have been recently impactful. When I was a very young mom (22), I began having children, and I cared for them the only way that seemed realistic, logical, and safe – I attachment parented them. Thankfully attachment parenting had been modeled for me by my sister and sister in law, not that we knew what to call it! It just seemed like the way to love. I was blessed to have Robin Cornett by my side during those early 6 years or so, and so we held, rocked, soothed and connected to our kids together. After discovering literature from Dr Sears and many others, I found that there were researched schools of thought related to attachment parenting your people. Cut to toddler/elementary years, and we were faced with a significant trauma – Bella Horrocks’ cancer. We continued to connect, share, use our words, hold and nurse (ok that was just me) through these critical few years when the world was swirling around us. Next, Habitat for Hope. Grief. The pain of severe loss. And a different stage of life for my people – pre adolescence. Now, we began to understand the difficultly of felt trauma on kids’ hearts, and once again – we did what we knew to do – we connected, held, were WITH. Nothing perfect, always messy, not always doing it best or right, but apologizing along the way, and bringing truth and awareness into each relationship. Enter Tona Ottinger and her whole crew, and I began to feel and understand the beautiful practice of learning to connect, care for and empower the little ones that you did not birth. What a different journey, in the learning and the feeling and the grief, but also, the healing of honesty, trust and connection.
Last night, our Memphis Family Connection Center team had the privilege of attending a learning event on trauma-informed care put on by the Tennessee Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics (for pediatricians) and GUESS WHAT – the ENTIRE thing centered the ACTUAL SCIENCE that reveals what trauma and grief do the child brain/mind. The results often LOOK like ADHD, bi-polar, depression, anxiety, anger, ODD…but each of the “diagnoses” are often resultant of trauma and grief.
Now here’s whats truly amazing – they (these brilliant scientists and doctors) presented AN ANSWER. An answer to how we heal, how we reconnect neurons, how we rebuild hurt minds. Want to hear it?
Connection Care. Attachment. Healed/Healing parents, who are honest and intentional and can be emotionally trusted doing the HARD work to connect and attach to hurting and/or troubled kids.
But, you ask, “Where is Jesus in this story? Where is the Bible? What does this have to do with God? Come on, Mylissa, you didn’t even quote a scripture!”
Prayer with every literal breath. The continued whispering of memorized scripture over their heads and ours. The head-down study of those saints, authors and theologians gone long before us. He. Is. Everywhere, and Jesus is knit deeply into the fabric of this family.
Spending lots of moments amazed by God these days – by all that He has put in our hearts, by what He reveals to us through science about who He is and who we are, and by the canvas He continues to paint that is my life.